Sasori no Akasuna and the Mushy-Gushy Valentine
by chaann
Summary: AU - While most kids gobble up holidays as a way to have a little fun in life, nine year old Sasori sees no joy in a day dedicated to LOVE. Especially when he's the cootie-filled outcast and the only person he would consider being interested in is the popular new kid. Talk about high standards.


Christmas seemed to fade away so fast for the young children at Akatsuki Primary School. It came and went along with the New Year and now the children could hardly contain themselves for the next holiday coming up, Valentines Day. Well, most of the children that is...

There was one particularly small boy who absolutely despised Valentines Day. The day was nonsense in his warped little mind. A day dedicated to LOVE? Love didn't exist! Love for people at least. This boy hated people, but he did love his art. Only the love for true eternal art existed. This mushy gushy day dedicated to kissing, roses, unrealistic hearts shapes, and popularity was nonsense! Complete and utter nonsense.

Besides, more than half of his stupid classmates called it the wrong name anyway. Valentimes? Please! What kind of parents were raising these morons.

With a big round head covered in wild, fiery red hair, two large doe-like eyes and and teenie tiny body that didn't match that big head; Sasori was the laughing stock of his grade four class. The only people who seemed to appreciate his looks were the older women who had taken a fancy to cooing and pinching at his bloated with fat cheeks. What good did that do him now though? Nothing! What did dumb old ladies know about being cool or fitting in anyway? Nothing! Absolutely nothing.

With one of his least favorite holidays here, next to Easter and Christmas, Sasori physically hissed at the task in front of him; which was making the mailbox. Why should he do it in the first place? It's not like he was going to receive anything. Instead it was only going to empty just like every other year.

Well no, that's not exactly true. All his past teachers had gone out of their way to make a him a little card so he didn't feel left out. Sasori was sure that they were the dumb type of, as previously mentioned, old ladies that had already fallen for his endearing appearance anyway. However this was his first male teacher so he wasn't sure how a middle aged man would act.

Then there was also his Granny Chiyo and his younger cousin Temari who for the longest time had gone out of their way to make and give him some homemade chocolates. Delicious yes, but still part of the nonsense. He should be able to eat homemade chocolate any other day of the year, not just Valentines day! Why did they only have to make their love known for him only once a year? Why not everyday! Or at least once a week! He'd even be okay with just once a month...maybe even once every two.

And no this was not just because he wanted more chocolate. He's not that greedy, just a little needy.

Receiving yet another warning glare from his teacher, Sasori sighed as he got to work making the stupid box - which was just a brown cardboard box decorated. He had nothing better to do, so why not humour the crowd? As he worked, his eyes wandered over to the other side of the room where they caught ahold of the cute new boy in class. He had moved into their school just after winter break ended, but he already had the girls swooning in their shoes. Not to mention a few boys who, in their defense, just couldn't keep their eyes off those long golden tresses or those heavenly baby-blue eyes...

Not like Sasori was one of those boys! Certainly not the reason he was watching the blond at all - no way! Kid was probably suffering enough having to deal with all those kids breathing on him, grabbing at his clothes and tugging on his hair. He doesn't look like he's suffering anymore, he actually started smiling he -

Sasori blushed and immediately stopped looking at the new boy. Did that really happen? Did the popular new kid actually just SMILE at him!? It was a beautiful smile, but it was surely for someone else and Sasori wasn't in the mood to find out who.

Finishing up the box up rather quickly, since he refused to decorate it any further than covering it with red construction paper, he rested his cheek on the palm of his hand. Nothing to do now since he would rather jump off the highpoint of the playground than make Valentines for his awful classmates. So instead he just huffed and got back to sulking... Although he did consider making the new kid one out of kindness. Well, that is until he heard that EVERYONE wanted to make multiple cards for him, to state their LOVE ~. Poor kid was going to be swimming in pink and red garbage by the end of the day.

In the end, sulking got Sasori no where as the Valentines gifting began, and for another year in a row, no one dared to go near his desk. In fact, they went out of their way to tiptoe around it, treating anything that belonged to Sasori as cootie infested - as always. Giving up, Sasori huffed and rested his head in his arms as he put it down. He just wanted this all to be over.

The giving and taking went all the way till lunch where the bell rung loudly sending them outdoors. Going out too, Sasori meandered to the swings. The one swing in particular that was named 'Cootie-Swing' by the other kids since he always used it. He sighed loudly, not even the cool wind brushing against his skin could make him feel better. Today, like every passing year, just sucked.

"Where is Deidaraaa!" A girl whined catching Sasori's attention. "I gave him three Valentines and a chocolate! He should be here playing with me!"

Another girl gave the angry one some sympathy by placing a hand on her shoulder while a different one agreed with the angry girls behaviour. "I think he's still in the school for some reason!" She sneered as if Deidara was doing something incredibly wrong. "Apparently he's been doin some project and the teacher is letting him stay inside a little while longer to finish it."

"Whaaat!" Cried the first girl. "He didn't tell me this and I'm his girlfriend!"

Sasori's heart thumped painfully at her words.

"I told him we were dating in the Valentine cards I gave him so he just has to man up and accept it! Boys are supposed to want girlfriends."

Sasori couldn't listen to the girls any longer. He got off the swing and just opted for walking around by himself. He walked here, there and all the way back the the lineup because, hey, why not? It's not like he had anywhere to be or anyone to play with.

As he got there though he looked up to see Deidara leaving the very door beside the lineup, face and hair speckled in silver and red glitter. They made brief eye contact that made the blond gasp and sent him running off in a spastic manner. Of course he would run away from Sasori though, that was never something new. Didn't mean it still didn't hurt though... Besides, now he knew the blond really hadn't smiled at him.

Although in a way, he sorta already knew that. Even though he really wished Deidara had.

Sitting there until the bell rang, the other kids showed up accordingly and they all went inside to finish the rest of the day like a regular school day. Math, Sasori's second favorite subject next to art, was last. On the days when Math was last on the agenda, Sasori liked to stay a little while afterwards to finish it all so he wouldn't have homework. The teacher trusted him to be a good boy while he went to the staff or photocopy room to finish up some work.

Speaking of finishing up, Sasori closed his textbook and started packing up his bag. Finally it was the end of a nonsense day. Only, the last thing that needed to be taken care of to wipe it all away was, "The stupid mailbox." He muttered looking across the room at the red paper covered box sitting on his desk.

Throwing his backpack on, he walked to the desk and grabbed the mailbox. He glanced at it in his hands, rolled his eyes and went to the garbage can near the door to throw it out.

"Hey! What do you think you're doing, un! Did you even bother to look in it?"

Sasori flinched almost sending the box to the floor but still managing to catch it. He looked to the window by the open door to see Deidara the new kid with his face smushed up against it. It wasn't a happy face either. Sasori shrunk back before deciding to stand up for himself. Clearly the kid didn't know anything about how things worked around here.

"I don't need to look inside! I know already that it's empty so why don't you mind your own business!" Sasori shouted back clutching the box even tighter as his own anger rose. He wasn't particularly proud or fond of telling the cool new kid that he himself was a total loser.

Deidara came around from behind the window to the door entrance to be face to face with the smaller boy. "You didn't even look!"

Sasori also took a step forward ready to take on the challenge. "Oh? And how would you know!"

"I-I just do, un!" The blond boy sputtered looking away. "Just look inside 'cause you might have somethin after all."

Huffing and puffing, Sasori glanced in the box to see pitch black. "Nothing is in here, now leave me alone!"

"Huh? Did you feel around, un?" Deidara asked sounding genuinely confused.

Rolling his eyes, Sasori put his hand in quickly and pulled out a teeny card. "To Sasori, keep up the good work. From Mr. Iruka." He read from the card out loud. "Oh yes, a mandatory pity card from the teacher, just what I wanted!" He hissed crumpling it in his hand and tossing it out. "Love doesn't even exist and this holiday is a sham! Everyone who partakes Valentines Day is an idiot!"

Deidara sucked on his bottom lip, obviously things were working out for him. Dropping his arms to his sides, his fists balled up and his eyes got steamy. "You really think that, un? Try flipping the box upside down, you jerk!" He yelled before he ran off with his backpack jostling around; more bits of red and silver glitter falling from it.

Sasori glared at the boy running off and almost threw out the box then and there. However something told him to do what the he had said, so he turned the box upside down. A small amount if glitter fell out and he felt a gentle thud. Was something really in there? He shook it side to side and more silver and red glitter fell. In fact, even a teenie tiny paper heart fell out. Whatever was in there, it was big.

Taking the red mailbox back to his desk he got out a pair of scissors and carefully cut it open so he could get whatever big thing that was inside of if, out. Once it was opened, Sasori's eyes grew wide. There in the box was the mushiest - gushiest - Valentine he had ever seen in his life! It was huge!

Glitter, stickers, hearts, lace, fake white feathers, more glitter, little cut out paper swirls and so on had littered the large card in such a way that it wasn't a mess. It was like a collage of exactly what Valentines Day looked like. Using the scissors, he cut open the heart shaped sticker that held the card closed. Opening it he raised his eyebrows at a lovely hand drawn picture of two lovebirds that was pasted inside. That wasn't the only thing inside either.

' Rosez are red, so is your hair. I think your're sweet and look like cute teddy bear. Happy Valentimes Day Sasori! Love: your're secret admirerer. xoxo '

Oh, and then some red racecar stickers. And a smiley face one that had the unrealistic hearts for eyes.

The card was big, beautiful, sappy, and even had his NAME in it! There was no mistake that it was made specifically for him. That wasn't the only thing, it was without a doubt from Deidara the new kid. It had to have been! That's why he stayed after school to make sure Sasori would look in his box and that he didn't throw it out. Also the glitter! So much of the same glitter that was on the card was also on Deidara the new kid!

"He must have worked so hard on this... He stayed in from lunch, right?" Now that Sasori thought about it, he didn't see Deidara stand up once during the Valentine exchange. Was he the only person who got a card from the popular blond?

"Does this mean... He likes me?" Sasori asked himself raising a hand to touch a now hot cheek. "Deidara the cool, cute, new kid likes me!? Like, like-likes me!?"

By now his eyes were twinkling and his heart was soaring. He didn't even mind the use of Valentimes! Deidara the new kid like-liked him! He may have been too shy, so maybe that's why he used "Secret Admirer". It perhaps he didn't think it was cool to like boys, or to go near the redhead... Or maybe Deidara just wanted to give Sasori a great, romantic surprise.

Quickly putting the scissors away, he rushed to the door where he threw out the cut box and booked it down the hallway out the front doors, his incredible Valentine card still in his hands. Maybe, just maybe, Deidara was still on school grounds.

He panted as he looked around, but all he saw a very empty school yard. Sadly, Deidara was no where in sight. Sticking out his bottom lip he felt like he could cry, just as he made Deidara do so just a little while earlier. Sasori whimpered as he started on his way home. The sad thought of knowing that he ruined the only chance for him to have a friend, or to even be Deidara's Valentine weighed heavily on his mind.

As he walked on down the street something on the playground caught his eye. Someone was playing on the Cootie-Swing. HIS Cootie-Swing! Walking up to the fence he looked over to see a child with long blond hair sitting and twirling on it, the very same blond hair fanning out as they went round and round.

"There he is..."

There he was indeed. Sasori ran back to an entrance in the fence and ran even more, all the way to the playground. When he got there he watched the boy twirl around once last time before coming to a halt to look back at him. Deidara's eyes were red and his cheeks were rosy, clearly he had cried over being rejected by his crush.

"I-I've never gotten a real Valentine you know." Sasori finally said taking the card out from under his arm to his chest. "This is quite lovely, y'know. You're a real good artist."

Looking at the card in Sasori's hands first, Deidara the looked away from the scene all together and stuck out his bottom lip. "I didn't make that for you, un. It says it's from a secret admirer."

"Oh? And how would you know what the inside says?" Sasori said smirking as he raised his hand to wipe some glitter that was still sticking to the other boys face.

Deidara scoffed at being caught lying for the second time by the redhead, but didn't say anything more, nor did he deny it. All he could do was turn even more pink. Especially after having the glitter wiped off him.

Deciding he didn't like the long silence, Sasori carried on. "You know Deidara, I have always disliked Valentines Day - "

"Yeah, you made that pretty clear earlier, un."

Sasori sighed and stepped forward to the boy sitting on the swing and grabbed onto his chilly hands. "But I think I can start to like it, but only if I have you for a Valentine." He mumbled opening a hand to place one of his homemade chocolates in Deidara's hand. "So, if you please... Will you be my Valentine?"

Deidara gasped, looked at the nicely wrapped chocolate and didn't hold back having his eyes shine bright like the sun. "Yes! Yes, yes yes I'll be your Valentine!" He cried leaping forward, crushing the card between their chests in a bear hug. He even went as far as to press a big smooch on the other boys cheek.

When they pulled apart Sasori felt a little weird. Contact with other children who were not his cousins was weird. "So is this like, a one day romance or?" He asked straightening out his very special card which was now looking a wee tad smushed.

Deidara reached down, put the chocolate in his coat pocket and laughed. "Of course it's not! In one of the cards I got, it said we were now boyfriend and girlfriend! Who does she think she is?" Deidara hissed and stepped foreword and pressed his cold nose against the other boys hot cheek. "Tomorrow at lunch, we can even kiss in front of her!" He whispered loudly in Sasori's ear.

"Won't we get in trouble?" Sasori asked a little unsure at the other boys plans. Even though that sounded like SUCH a fun thing to do.

Deidara blinked and gripped Sasori's warm hand and gave it a squeeze. "Does it matter, un?"

"No, I guess it doesn't." Sasori smiled pecking one last kiss on Deidara the new kid's cheek.

For no, it didn't matter what they would go through, as long as Sasori would continue to have his mushy - gushy -Valentine, Deidara.

* * *

i was going to give you losers smut and then i thought, HEY baby kisses.

this story is very loosely based off the junie b. jones book which is the only vday book i have ever read. i have absolutely no experience with vday but I assume this is how it works?


End file.
